I was shocked to here that answer.It was silence every where in room. After few minutes she started crying for her mistake. I went near her took her hand said forget every thing. It was already 12.am i said i will leave now its already late. She said why don’t you adjust here and sleep. I said it will be uncomfortable for you as i may put my hand and legs on you while sleeping. She replied its not at all a problem and forced me to sleep there. I agreed and slept on same bed and started talking. I was not feeling sleepy. I was looking at her she was also not sleeping. She was me and asked ‘ what happened ? not feeling sleepy? I said no. She came close to me and asked ‘so what will make you sleep’? i said i need to drink milk she smiled and said ‘so there no milk here what we do? I replied nothing. She was holding my hand. I took her hand to my mouth and i said ‘ let me put your thump inside my mouth for sometime i will suck it and i will sleep.She again smiled and ok.As i put her. The pressure exerted on her by well meaning friends and family to give her child up for adoption. They were only acting in her best interest and I was not to be trusted. The tears flowed down my face as the gravity of her sense of loss sank in to me. My own fears of hurting her more than I already had, kept me from carrying the battle for our child’s custody becoming a raging court issue. Her family and friends advised me the legal actions I had already taken were devastating her and if I won it would be at the cost of her sanity. I couldn’t hurt her anymore and our child was lost to us. All to soon, the first date ended and I asked if she would speak with me again. She agreed. Letting go of her hand that day was one of the hardest things I have done in my life. Our next date proceeded much like the first, walking about the campus discussing what we did while we were separated. I told her of the agony of going through drug withdrawal when breaking the habit. The vile, hateful things.
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